Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
