Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
