Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
