i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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