okay pat passed out under dana's car
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
