don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
