what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My liver just had a heart attack.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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