Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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