last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
