I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
