hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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