Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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