: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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