I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
