i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
