She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
