I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
