He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
