sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
A+ Viking dick
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I forget how to act sober
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
