Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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