sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
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Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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