at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...