i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
