Do you still have your period?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend