she woke up with a sticky ear
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.