I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.