"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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