What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
