he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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