I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't deserve a penis
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
