you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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