I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
