my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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