So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
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Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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