A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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