I wish life had little blips of pornography
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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