Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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