Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
