whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
