I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
