What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
