i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
