Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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