A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize