Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
