do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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