is wine microwaveable?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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