You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
