You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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