No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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