Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
