Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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