Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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