who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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