i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
