I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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