Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
