Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
