I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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