we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm both gender and math confused
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
