Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
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Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
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Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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