It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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