# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
