I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
