R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
