Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
