somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
