Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
