State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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