Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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