it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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