"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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